FORMER MISTRESS

Dear Racheal,
I lived the life of a mistress for over 15 years until my lover married me after his wife died two years ago. I was his secretary then, and continued to work for him for another two years until I got pregnant.
I retired, and he gave me a house of my own. He gave me everything I wanted—travel, jewelry, credit cards—because he was crazy about me. He is 20 years my senior, but he looks very virile and young. I thought I had won the lottery when I finally affixed his name to mine.
Now that we are entering our third year of marriage, I find out he is again having an affair and behaving like a teenager in heat! I am so depressed and I don’t know what to do.


Not to rub salt on your wound, but this turn of events only shows that what goes round, comes round. What’s more, you unwittingly created a vacancy for his next mistress when you married him!
He clearly is a serial lover, and can’t bear not to have anyone on the side.  What made you think he wouldn’t do it to you, when he obviously was unfaithful to his wife for 15 years?
You know why he was crazy about you then?  Because he knew that at the end of the day, he could go back to wifey at home.  He saw you only under the best and most relaxed circumstances—the exciting momentariness of it was so seductively appealing to him!  A wife meant drudgery and everything unexciting connected with marriage.  You were a forbidden fruit, and the hide-and-seek scenario pumped up his adrenaline.
What’s more, he probably saw his old self in the image of his wife, and couldn’t accept aging and what went with it. Some men really shouldn’t be married at all!
And guess where you are now? On the other side of the fence, and miserable! It probably wasn’t such a big deal winning your “lotto” after all.  Money and prestige don’t mean a thing now, considering the pain you’re feeling.
Since it’s too late to change the present set-up, what do you plan to do?
Get out of this rut because you’re digging a hole to nowhere. If your lothario of a husband keeps on with his abhorrent ways and keeps whoever becomes his wife unhappy, that’s his problem.  Instead, have a parallel life and do yourself a favor.
Do something fulfilling to veer your attention away from him and his dirty tricks.  Go back to school, study a craft. Become that productive person you can be proud of.  You might even attract him again by improving yourself without his knowledge.
Like it or not, fate truly lashes out valuable lessons in life in exactly the same proportion—nothing less, nothing more. Amen.

CONTROLLING AGING

With all the invasive and noninvasive procedures available in the market, looking old is almost a sin. But there are people who are scared to join the bandwagon just yet. Luckily, there are many beauty products that can revive dull-looking skin and keep wrinkles at bay. Here are some of them.
1 Take care of your eyes. Don’t wait for wrinkles to appear around the eyes. When it comes to eye cream it’s never too early to use one. The skin around the eye does not contain any oil glands so eye creams are a must, especially since makeup, the sun, and other factors can speed up aging.
Eye creams are formulated to provide moisture and protection to the skin cells around our eyes. Some eye creams are so good they educe the appearance of visible lines and remove dark circles and puffiness. Try Eye Concentrate .

2 Fake that glow. Dehydrated skin and late night outs take away the skin’s natural luster, so fake it. Illuminating powders will make your skin look healthy; they even out your skin tone through light reflectors that give your skin a flawless finish. Try: Guerlain Meteorites or Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick.
3 Pamper your skin. A good foundation will not only make you look like you have clear skin, but will also provide moisturizing and protection against the sun. Try: Becca Foundation or Mary Kay


4 Plump up your lips. Thinking of getting collagen fillers on your lips?  As we age our lips get thinner; this is the reason why plump lips are associated with youth and good health. There are products available that will help make your lips fuller and it’s just one swipe away, no needles and no pain. Try: Smashbox O-Gloss

5Grow your brows. The thinner your brows the older you will look, this is a fact. But the good news is, brows are in. Plucking tugs onto the skin and will eventually make the skin above your eyes sag faster. If you find that having your brows full is too intense you may soften it by using MAC’s brow set. It will lighten your brows while keeping them in shape.

6 Go for a serum. Do you need laser treatments to help tighten your pores, even out your skin tone, and get back the vibrancy of your skin? Then Lancome Visionnaire is the product you’ve been looking for. This serum is made of the tinniest molecules and is easy for our skin to absorb. I call it my laser treatment in a bottle. It also has a nice light scent.

7 Give your hair a boost.   As we age our hair gets thinner and need specific care. Dull thin hair is a sign of aging. Phytodensium Anti-Aging Shampoo gives strength and vitality to aging hair. It has all the ingredients that will boost the hair and slow down aging.

8 Help your hand. Don’t allow your hands to give your age away. Just as you should make it a habit to moisturize and apply SPF on your face, you should also pamper your hands. Constant washing and application of alcogel will age the hands faster then the face. Help keep its youth by applying cream as needed. Try: Neutrogena hand cream or L’Occitane hand lotion.

9 Remember your neck. The most important area for detecting the first signs of aging is sadly one of the most neglected, the neck. There are different procedures you can have done if you are experiencing “turkey neck,” but these can be very pricey. Prevention is key. Some suggest using retinoid cream on the neck area since it can help rebuild elastin and collagen resulting to a smoother firmer neck. But the best is not to forget your neck when using facial masks and moisturizers. Try: Murad Resurgence Rejuvinating Lift for Neck and Decollete.

10 Out with the old. SPF and moisturizing are a must, and so is exfoliating.  The outer layer of our skin consists of dead skin cells, and our skin creates new cells everyday. Exfoliating prevents the build-up of old skin, which is dull and coarse. Exfoliating helps bring out fresh youthful skin and even makes for better absorption for beauty products. Give way to new skin by exfoliating. Try:  Obagi exfoliant or Kiehl’s exfoliating scrub.


Mega White Smile

 

One part of aging is the yellowing of the teeth. This is caused by the thinning of the enamel. But we also contribute to it without our knowing. Bad habits such as smoking is the number one cause for stained teeth. The rest is our day to day activities such as drinking teas, soda, and coffee. The dentist would recommend using e a straw to reduce exposure to these staining beverages, but it takes getting used to. Lasers whitten teeth but is very expensive. Regular brushing with a whitening tooth paste may be the easiest way to slowdown this process. Try Colgate Total Toothpaste Plus Whitening Gel.

HOW TO COLOR-COORDINATE WITHOUT OVERMATCHING

You’ve seen it. Red bag with red shoes. Leopard-print bag with leopard-print shoes. What is the key rule when it comes to matching your outfit, bag and shoes?
Does your bag need to match perfectly with your shoes? Do you need to make sure there is one color element present in the bag or shoes to match the color of your outfit?
One day you’d hear fashion pundits decrying the overmatched look on some celebrity. The next you’d hear them singing praises about it because “the look came together very well” on some model.

The key to doing the mix-match look well is to do it with moderation. The bottom line? Your comfort level.
I believe that the head-to-toe one-color look works best with the right cut when it comes to clothes, and with neutral shades. It is more or less widely accepted to wear an all-black ensemble (black dress, black shoes, black bag), but unless you are in mourning, it’s good to put a little color on your face—perhaps some light-pink blush on your cheeks, or if you’re bold enough, bright red lips.
It is also common to see an all-white ensemble (white shirt, white trousers, white loafers and white bag)—I have seen this look on “ladies who lunch,” and they work it quite flawlessly. All white gives off that breezy, laid-back feel, which is also why this look is most at home on the beach.

When it comes to brights,  the one-color look can be more difficult to pull off. An all-red ensemble may be too harsh, especially when matched with an all-red bag and a pair of all-red shoes
You might not want to do this all-red look—believe me, it would not be good to blend in with the red tablecloth on the banquet table! And it certainly might look strange if you wear an all-green outfit and match it with a same-color, different-shade bag and shoes unless you are willing to be mistaken for an elf or, worse, a leprechaun.
Again, there is no real rule out there against this, as it all boils down to how comfortable you are with what you wear—although I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be the object of ridicule by those who see you.

Now, if you are not too sure about your look, it’s time to learn the art of proper bag and shoe matching. When it comes to a solid-colored bright ensemble, a bag and a pair of shoes in either black or nude shade are safest, as those colors work to break down a bright color’s “strength.”
If you are willing to experiment, you don’t even have to match your bag color with your shoe color. Check out the color wheel (you can search for this on the Internet easily) to find complementary shades to the color of your outfit/bag/shoes, and work from there.
If you like to web-crawl, check out style blogs to see how bloggers integrate different colors of bags and shoes with their clothes. And if you feel emboldened after also poring over fashion magazines, try carrying printed bags—and why not, wear printed shoes, too! It may get confusing to color-coordinate or to color-complement/contrast, but never forget to enjoy the process of matchmaking.